The Ministry of Foster Caring, Part 2

(Continued from The Ministry of Foster Caring, Part 1)

          As we have been involved in foster care, my passion to see more Christian families become involved in this ministry has grown greatly. In the United States, (as of 2014) there were 415,129 children in foster care. Four hundred fifteen thousand, one hundred twenty-nine. Roughly ¼ of these children, so 107,918, are simply waiting to be adopted right now. The average age of children waiting to be adopted is 8 years old. The average length of time a child spends in foster care is 23.9 months. In 2014, 264,746 children entered foster care. The equates to one child every 2 minutes.

            Now the goal of foster care is reunification with the child’s parents or relatives. Many, many chances and supports are given to the families, to assist in making this reunification successful. As foster parents, we have to remind ourselves that this IS THE GOAL. But sometimes this is not possible. This is when the plan gets changed to adoption, but it may take many months or even years before this happens.

            A study done by the Barna Group says that 31% of Christians say they have seriously considered becoming foster parents, as opposed to 11% of non-Christians. But only 3% of those Christians actually do become licensed foster parents. If one family from every three Christian churches committed to adopt one child and those three churches committed to support that family, there wouldn’t be any children waiting to be adopted in foster care. Sure, there would still be temporary placements and such, but this endless mess of waiting and heartache in the system as we know it now would be eliminated. (Shannon Dingle, Dr. Stephen Grcevich)

            The reality of foster care is that it is hard. You have to build relationship from the ground up. You don’t have nine months, or often even nine days, usually not even nine hours to plan for the child’s arrival. You’ve missed out on the first however many years/months/days of their life. You may (likely) need to work with the child’s biological family, as well. This can seem quite scary, but for all the times we have done this, God has done a work in my heart, changing it from viewing the parents as the ones who “did this” to the child, to seeing them as parents who truly want make this right, but the tools they have and lifestyle they’re living is just chaos. He’s working on me having a heart of compassion for the parents, as well as the children.

            Foster care involves a significant amount of paperwork. And then co-parenting with the state and abiding by their rules, having them go through every part of your life and home and tell you exactly what you can/can’t do with “their” child. Not fun.

Foster care may involve special needs. Every single child who has been removed from their biological family and home will have some level of trauma, pain & loss. Not one of them made the choice to leave, and they were NOT the cause of their being removed. Most of us cannot imagine what many of these children have lived through. Children who’ve been deliberately burned, had most of their hair pulled out, children who have sat for days in their filthy diaper in their crib with nothing to eat and nobody to attend to them because their parent is high. Children who have been so exposed to drugs, that at 2 years old, their hair tests positive on drug tests. Six month old babies with broken bones, tiny children with their teeth kicked out, there may be bruising and abuse we cannot fathom. There are children who are convinced they must be bad or unworthy or nobody loves or wants them because they’re on to their 7th home in the past month. Children who spend the nights in their social workers’ office, hearing her make call after call and hearing people say “No, not tonight. No we can’t take him or her. No, no, no…”

BUT GOD…..

GOD promises in Isaiah 41:13, But I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

And in Philippians 4:19, But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Psalms 103:4, Who redeemeth thy life from destruction? Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies?

Philippians 1:6, Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Galatians 6:9, Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

            I believe that we, as followers of Jesus are all called to care for the fatherless… James 1:27 is often sighted here: Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. I want you to notice something in here… Not once does it say we ALL must take these children into our homes. Yes, the need for GOOD, Christian homes for foster children and orphans in general is overwhelming, but some of us will be called to VISIT. Keep that in mind, I’ll touch back on that at the end. Also, notice when we are called to do this: IN THEIR AFFLICTION. Not only when everything is just peachy. I think that “in their affliction” bit gives us just a little peek into how this care may turn out to be…

            As part of the body of Christ, we have something amazing we can share with lonely, hurting souls… That is the Hope we have through Jesus Christ. That HOPE is the only thing that will have the power to change a broken life and create beauty from ashes. Matthew 16:18 says, And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it! Not even the very gates of hell can prevail, conquer, defeat the Church, doing the work of God. Even in the middle of poverty, addictions, cycles of abuse, and broken systems, the Church endures! Being part of that Body of Believers needs to mean more to us than social functions, doing “our thing”, and trying to convince our children that the heritage we’ve been passed down is something worth preserving. That’s all fine, and not inherently "bad", but we also need to be teaching and fostering a culture where it is normal and supported to be opening our homes and lives to children (others as well) who are in messy, dangerous, or vulnerable situations.

Another reason I believe the Church has a distinct ability to minister here, is because we, as believers, are going to focus more on “whole person healing”, as opposed simply to offering a better life. It’s not enough to offer food, shelter, & safety, even love. The difference will be made ONLY by surrendering to and acceptance of Jesus Christ! That is something that is up to each one of us, but we know that the influence and teaching we have as parents, will impact our children. We can teach and model forgiveness, love, truth, making choices that honor God, and so much more that the world just cannot do. The spiritual side of healing will not be left out of these children’s lives when Christian families answer the call to become involved in foster care. Mark 9:37 says Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever receiveth me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.

            Our Nation, our state, our towns, and even our neighbors need to see the Light, shining from that City set upon the hill, not hidden from their view. The ability to bring this ministry into our homes is a great privilege and opportunity to minister to the lives and hearts of not just the children, but also their biological family, the social workers, and even many onlookers. John 13:35 says “By this shall all men know ye are my disciples, if ye have love one for another.”

          I’d like to take a moment to speak a little more specifically about some of the ways we have been blessed by you in our journey of foster care. The thankfulness I have for the Godly heritage both Luke and I have been handed down from generation to generation cannot be understated. Many of us come from generations of Godly, in-tact, functioning families… I do not in any way mean to imply perfect or sin-free families, but generations of believers who have kept the faith. I don’t think I even realized how much of a blessing and privilege this was until I began to be involved in lives of those who come from generations of dysfunctional families. Some of the children we have had in our home have been 3^rd generation foster children. And quite honestly, they don’t have any clue how God designed the family to operate. But you know what? This does not in any way mean my life is more worthy in the sight of God than theirs is. He desires the heart of that child just as much as He desires mine. I was simply dealt a different hand, but not just for my own keeping! Should I choose to, every resource I have can be used to bless others and point them in the direction of Jesus, Who has the power to redeem all the “pasts” of ANYONE who chooses to follow Him.

            Another thing I am thankful for is the opportunity to grow up in, and then choose to continue to fellowship with those who are striving to live a life of separation from sin and the world. No, none of us get it all right, but it is such a blessing to be encouraged to keep striving to love and live more like Jesus. So many of the children we have fostered have come from lifestyles that I cannot even begin to relate to. The addictions, immorality, and abuses have already caused so much pain in their lives. The chance to share a lifestyle where this is not the norm, not encouraged, or for the most part, not even present, coupled with Biblical teaching and truly desiring to serve God makes a profound impact on the lives and hearts of children.

            Having a support group that is not only limited to my geographical location is another gift you have given our family. There is a strong nationwide network of community, and the blessing of receiving a note of encouragement, the cheering on, and knowing you are spending time in prayer for our family is something I treasure. I know the children in our care, both now and in the past, have been blessed by it as well.

Part 3 coming soon... :)