This One is for the Boys

Little boys... 

Muddy feet, abundant action, pockets full of treasure, cars and trucks, loud noises, sweaty bodies... precious little men!!

Some days I am slightly overwhelmed at the thought of having 4 boys... and I'd like to share an experience we recently had involving foster care and yet another little boy. Please don't think I'm not partial to little girls, though, it's not a secret that we would love to have another daughter someday! :)

It may just be our experiences, but for the time we've been foster parents, we have had only boys come through our home. A friend of ours has fostered over 20 children, only 2 being girls. There seems to be an excessive amount of little boys needing homes. I have spoken with social workers, other foster parents and even adoption agencies as to why this seems to be the case.

I have no "facts" or "data" to back this up, but I thought it is something that I think about often, so I'd share my heart.

Soon after we lost our foster license in April, we got a call from a social worker asking us if we'd be willing to foster-to-adopt a precious little baby boy. Because of his circumstances and some of the specifics of his case, we agreed that we would be willing to welcome this precious boy into our family. We found it very ironic that the day we got the call telling us our license would not be going through unless we redid all the paperwork was the exact day this baby was born. We had also specifically requested only girls on our license... So much of this only God could have orchestrated. We felt very overwhelmed, thinking we'd potentially be having another son to raise, and while we agreed that this was an honor, it felt like a pretty tall order.

We told a few close friends and family it looked like we'd be welcoming another son into our home... most were very excited, but some wondered if another child (let alone another BOY) was necessary. This opened up the door to share what had been on my heart about all the little boys who were waiting on loving, permanent or even safe, temporary families.

Why are there so many little boys needing homes? Why does it seem like the child's birth family is more likely to maintain custody if the child is a girl? Here's what I think: So many of the children in foster care (no, not all) have come from homes that have had more than one generation involved in foster care. Many of these homes have multiple generations of women living there, yet very few men who stay. Often the mothers and even the grandmothers have boyfriends that do live in the home at some time. The fathers/boyfriends/men tend to move on for whatever reason and are not typically a constant. If you stop and think about children growing up in dysfunctional homes, the males are more likely to "offend" as they get older... gangs, violence, drugs, theft, jail. In homes that do not tend to have present, active, positive, male role models, the males are even more likely to be involved with gangs, violence, drugs, theft, and jail. I began to wonder if this played a part in the decision to keep the girls, but allow the boys to be placed in foster/adoptive homes with hopes of them having a positive male role model. 

It is no secret that this nation needs mighty men of God to rise up. We need Godly fathers. Godly husbands. Godly grandfathers. Men who are full of compassion, honor, courage, wisdom and stability. Men who truly desire to glorify God and to train up the next generation to do the same.  

This is where the Church needs to continue to come in. This is where we need to claim the privilege of raising these little boys up to be mighty men of God! This is where we need to encourage our husbands and fathers and grandfathers to be to positive, active, male role models for these little men. We can mentor, we can teach, we can foster, we can adopt, we can coach, we can get involved with these young men who so desperately need somebody to care, to teach, to love, to guide, and to direct them to God.

These little boys often just need somebody to take a chance on them, to show them they do matter, that they are important, both to God and to us. I do realize that just because a boy is raised in a Godly home, it does not guarantee him a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. I do know, however, that every minute spent investing in the life of a child IS worth it! I know it is not easy. I know it doesn't always "suit" or feel comfortable. I have watched my husband struggle with the responsibility of raising Godly sons. I have watched him make changes in his life so that he can spend more time with his boys. I have seen him want to learn new things. He has gone above and beyond to make sure his sons have a Godly father, a present, active, positive, male role model.

And the beautiful, little baby boy we were called about? After loving and praying for him without ever meeting him for a month or so, a relative stepped up and decided to care for him. We trust that God has a plan for this special little man's life and he will forever have a special place in our hearts.

This one is for the boys...