Peace

Have you ever had peace about something when you absolutely did not expect it?

About a month ago, on a Monday evening, we got a notice from the wonderful adoption agency that we had been licensed with over the past 4 years. They announced they would be closing that Friday, due to a loss in financial supporters. We had less than one week to try and find another agency who would transfer our foster license or work with us. At the time, we had decided that because our foster care license had just been renewed (through our agency) less than 6 months prior, we would try to find another agency who would take us on. If we had to completely begin again from scratch, we would wait. Maybe God was telling us our stint with foster care was over?

Now, to back up a bit... Foster care was never my "vision" for MY family, to begin with. I did not want to "share" children with the State or have the drama and heartache of the child returning to their birth family after we had loved and cared for them. I wanted what was most comfortable to me. Plus, I (to my shame) had said a few very uneducated, negative things about the kinds of children who come out of foster care. So... when Halli was only 9 or 10 months old, Luke announced he felt God was leading us to do foster care. I was a bit hesitant and not so convinced... however, because I knew I wanted more children :-) and that God is often speaking to me through my husband when he says something TOTALLY out of character (like adopting from foster care!), I agreed.

God has opened our eyes through our time as foster parents. He has used some very special little men (yep, all the children we've had were boys!) to break our hearts for the children RIGHT in our neighborhoods who are suffering. We have seen first hand, the pain and heartache that these precious souls have lived through. He has given us a passion to serve these children and to advocate for them and to educate and encourage other Christian families to consider foster care. We have a desire to care for and love these children... these broken, hurting and lonely little souls. 

So, the thought of us suddenly losing our foster license was quite sad! However, we found a local private agency who said they would transfer our license! We were quite pleased, and the lady came out and did a walk through homestudy that same evening! It seemed that God was opening just the right doors at just the right time. We redid the necessary paperwork, our background checks, and faxed over tons and tons of the previous agencies paperwork. And then we waited... and waited. The new agency had told us we should be re licensed in a couple of days, maybe a week. 

Four weeks later, we still hadn't heard back. So yesterday I called the agency to see what was up with our paperwork. Sadly, they had just found out that if we wished to keep our foster license, we would need to begin the ENTIRE process over... and because the regional licencor was behind, it would take approximately 8 more months. 

With out a doubt, both Luke and I feel our time with foster care is over... for now. We recognize God has, in fact, closed the doors and that it took this past month of waiting and some of the events that transpired in that time frame to prepare our hearts for this closed door. And we feel very peaceful about it. I do not feel relieved. I do not feel sad. I have no doubt that God has something else in the works and that He will reveal it to us when He is ready. 

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count.

Psalm 40:5