Last few days...

Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. 1 Thess. 5:24

Well, I cannot lie and say this has all been easy... but I can say that GOD has been FAITHFUL to us as we've answered the call he has for us.

This was not what we were out searching for, by any means...! However, we both felt so strongly that this is what God was asking of us right now, even though it made no since- I mean, seriously! We can't even fit 6 car seats in our Suburban so we're borrowing a full size van! How can I meet the needs of SIX children, when it seems the four I already have can be so needy? And what about ME?! I'm kinda needy myself.

Now here we are, only 60 {or so} hours into this and I'm beginning to question God. We're supposed to go to church and Luke is supposed to talk and I'm supposed to take care of SIX children?! Yikes.

Not to mention, six children need bathed, dressed and fed before we go.

I think I can see it being *slightly* daunting!

But GOD is FAITHFUL.

Sometimes things just begin to spin out of control, like yesterday morning, for example:

One child, tired of waiting in the bathroom to be wiped (yes, my bad) decides to wipe himself, the end result included p**p all over the bathroom, the floor, his HAIR, clothes and even face. The baby was SCREAMING, one child pouring their milk on their cereal {what?! That's MY job!!} resulting in spilled milk allllllllll over the table, one child wetting on the floor.... and the TRANSPORTER [coming to take little K and Baby JJ to a visit] knocking on the door- trying to stay out of Rockefeller's slobbery nose. That's when I just want to sit down and cry and give up.

But that's also when I'm reminded that GOD is FAITHFUL. He doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called.

So I shuffle little K and Baby JJ out the door into the transporters tiny little Mini Cooper {while wistfully thinking of the weekend just spent in the tiny little VW Bug} and cart the self-wiper to the shower, Clorox the bathroom, wipe up the spilt milk, start a[nother] load of laundry, and try to smile on the outside.

But inside, I'm thinking some not-so-necessary thoughts. And doing some not-so-necessary doubting.

This is too hard. I can't do it all. I'm not a good enough mom. I just cannot meet ALL the needs.

But could this be what God is trying to show me? That  it IS too hard- without Him. I can't do it all- without Him. I'm not a good enough mom- without Him. I cannot meet the needs- without Him.

HE is the ONLY way I can even keep going. Sometimes it's minute by minute, sometimes it's hour by hour and sometimes it's day by day.

God has called us to a unique calling for this time of our lives. HE alone, can supply our needs. He alone will be faithful enough to see us thru.

I have been thinking over and over of the song, You Never Let Go...

In every high and every low. In so many ways this has been a "high" of watching God work, of seeing Him change hearts, create a new masterpiece and piece together broken pieces.

But it's also been a low. I don't like feeling so inadequate. I don't like being so disarranged, so tired, so like I'm falling apart. And I don't like "imagining" what other people are saying about us or thinking about us.

But I am so thankful that He never lets go. And that He is faithful to those He has called.

The boys are not hard boys... Little K is super sweet and w-a-y behind, he's 18 months old and just beginning to walk, doesn't talk, didn't get the concept of feeding himself even finger foods... poor guy. In the last 2.5 weeks, he's been in 4 different homes. NO child deserves that. He deserves a CHANCE! He deserves love.

Baby JJ is 6 weeks old and weighs less now than both Riley and Halli did when they were born. Due to a little mix up in formula, he would only eat about one ounce then just cry. He's had terrible tummy aches and gas. We've switched his formula now and he's eating 4 ounces per feeding today!!! He's gonna grow now! :)

All the children can't get enough baby-holding time in and I'm constantly hearing, "Can I hold him now? Is it MY turn? He's crying, I think he wants ME to hold him..." and so on. Little K {in 3 days} is walking across our living room and following anyone of the other children around. He said "Hi" today and is smiling more and more.

Both boys are sleeping good and Little K is a good eater, {and Baby JJ's on his way to being a good eater}... Yes, they have caused a little hiccup in our plans but how much better is that than ignoring the calling of God? The children have been singing "I'll be somewhere listening [for my name]" lately and it's really blessed me when I hear my four year old belting out "Oh I'll be somewhere, listening, I'll be somewhere, listening, I'll be somewhere, listening for my na-a-ame" and I just pray he WILL be listening for when God calls HIM!

And I'll leave you with a little hilarity from Halli~

She was helping me feed Baby JJ tonight and I told her what a good job she was doing and how someday when she was grown up and married she'd be such a good mommy....

She stopped me and said, "I'm a princess."

"Yes, well princesses can get married and be mommys too." I told her.

"Yes. I'll have lots of little children and I'll build a house. A PINK house. I'll build it by myself with a PINK hammer!"

I can see it now. My princess {in her tutu} building a pink house with a pink hammer for her lots of little children. Ha ha.

:)

Fun in the SUN and SNOW! :)